I am powerless over… another human being, my past, my son’s recovery. I am powerful when I nurture myself, stop judging others, and let go of any expectations. Understanding this concept was easy but I never applied it to my own life. I fought against everything: cajoled and begged, wished and hoped— truly believing everything would change if I just stood firm and tried my best. So it goes, on and on , and nothing changed. I inhaled LET and exhaled GO–begged the universe to intervene–prayed to God–kept food and exercise logs–went to boot camp—going through the motions but taking no steps. The results — my spirit was crushed and my external circumstances were increasingly chaotic and unpleasant; my thinking was cluttered and I was blind to opportunity. Unyielding and stubborn, standing still and firm; I believed I was doing my best in difficult circumstances.
A cluster of dramatic and life altering events occurred in rapid succession. Major surgery for me, a major health crisis for my son soon followed–now I was swamped. I needed to find a place to live as a transitional living situation with a family member was not working out. I was overwhelmed by the circumstances of my life and had not found the way to heal my spirit and make changes on the inside; serendipity came to play a few months earlier and I enrolled in MKE. It turns out, just in the nick of time. I began to think of it as a magnet pulling disparate pieces into a whole. The dictionary definition of serendipity explains that “if you find good things without looking for them, serendipity–unexpected good luck–has brought them to you”. And the pieces were starting to come together, not quickly, but steadily.
Surrendering to my life “as it is” has brought new opportunities and peace of mind. The pleasant (good) and unpleasant (bad) stand in juxtaposition yet both offer positive feedback to my healing soul. I am beginning to believe (it to be true) as Og Mandino states in “The Greatest Salesman in the World”, “each misfortune I encounter I carry in it the seed of tomorrow’s good luck. I must have the night to appreciate the day. I must fail often to succeed only once”. Surrender (accepting situations where I am powerless) is beginning to feel powerful. Standing firm and unyielding has softened and i am able to step forward, a few steps at a time, more frequently. Amazingly, my son has begun to physically walk a few steps at a time; a profound metaphor for my life. My heart and soul have opened and many opportunities have ricocheted into manifestation. I like the person I am becoming (future self) and will honor and maintain a sustained and loving friendship with her. I see her standing on the horizon; happy, whole, healthy, kind, loving, and giving, with no expectation of reciprocity, yet also receiving all gifts; from any source, with grace and gratitude. ONE LOVE. Lucinda